New Friends

Back in June, a few days before Tom received his first implant, Nik visited the Ear Foundation for an open day. Directed at prospective/potential implantees and their families, the day was a tremendous source of information imparted not only by professionals but also those who’ve been through it and went a long way to addressing Nik’s concerns. What it also did - probably the most important benefit in fact - was prove that we weren’t alone.

I don’t have many clear memories of my teenage years; age and a general feeling that I didn’t enjoy the experience very much has led to a suspicion that I watched those years on a bootleg videotape rather than participated in them. One of the few clear memories I have, though, is of having a persistent feeling that I wasn’t really in on the joke. Life was going on, sure, but when I approached, all the participants put their hands in their pockets, started whistling (metaphorically of course) and waited until I’d gone away until continuing with life without me. Why am I bringing up this crushing teenage paranoia? I’m not entirely sure; it might be to do with the fact that I’ve been awake far too long today but I did feel a sense of exclusion again during the early appointments after Tom’s deafness was diagnosed. As a family we were isolated; we were told about this group of people like us but, until we spoke to or met any of them, it didn’t really help.

This is where The Ear Foundation come in (it’s also where CICS, the meningitis trust, NDCS and the CICircle to name a few come in too, bless ‘em all). On that day in June, Nik learnt a great deal about devices, therapies and services but she also met Donna and her son Noah. Noah is a few months younger than Tom… there isn’t much in it…but that isn’t where the similarity ends of course. Noah and Tom also share the misfortune of contracting pneumococcal meningitis at the same time, and losing their hearing as a result. I wouldn’t wish the pain, tears and heartache of what we’ve been through on anyone but to be able to share with people who know exactly what its like without any need to explain… it has made an enormous difference.

Contact with Donna, Richard (her husband) and Noah has continued through emails, phone calls and a brief meeting. Last weekend we met up again at the Ear Foundation’s family weekend in Centerparcs where we sat in a restaurant chatting about our boys and our experiences. Tom and Noah charged around, laughing and just being two years old. We could have talked all evening.